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Disappointment is described by Wikipedia as “the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest…It is a source of psychological stress”.

Recently, I interviewed for a supervisory position at my current employer. The position came up unexpectedly after a fellow employee decided to take an early retirement, and I applied right away, not putting much thought into it. I’ve always been someone who is eager to climb the ladder, regardless of my satisfaction with my current role. This position was posted, ironically, a few hours after I had a meeting with HR where I asked for a raise. In my mind, I thought for sure that either 1) HR would come back in a few weeks saying that they could pay me more money for my current role or 2) I would get the supervisory position and get a natural raise from that. Either way, something good would happen!


I did the interview, everything went well, and it was “easy” as the two people interviewing me were leaders that I was familiar and friendly with at work. The language they used went something like this: “We only need to keep the job posted for a week, I think that’s what HR requires”, “We should be able to make a decision by next week”. I brushed this language off, and tried to manage my expectations. I also worked on not getting my hopes up, because I’ve been disappointed once in the past after I didn’t get a position that I thought I wanted really badly. What followed in the office was several well-meaning co-workers that happened to be supervisors themselves, who started telling me that they were going to choose me for the role and to “pick out some wall colors!” (for the office that comes along with the position). They encouraged me every time I was in the office after my interview, even commenting that the interviewers had “huge smiles” on their faces after our meeting together. I told close friends this, making sure to point out that “anything could happen!”, knowing full well that I had already started cleaning out my own desk in hopes to move into that private office. 

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I think you all know where this is going, and no, I didn’t get the position. On top of that, I didn’t get the raise I had asked HR for. At first I felt embarrassed, stung by my lack of humility and anger towards those well-meaning co-workers that assured me I was going to get it. Then I realized that my worth does not need to be determined by the amount of "successes" I have at work, and most importantly, that good things will happen in the future. It's easy to fall into the mindset of "nothing goes my way, and that's just how it is". Something will go your way, but you have to keep trying, and be willing to take some losses.

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‍At the end of the day, I still love my job. ‍This is my stepping stone, something I’m good at, and further motivation for me to build a life where I can work for myself one day. 

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I will take these disappointments and use them to make myself better. 

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My masters program starts in 53 days and I’ve already started reviewing material, reading the required books, and setting up my calendar, because I am ready to rock this thing. 

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Cheers to disappointment

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Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappointment

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